Dance with Me
by misspensandscribbles
Summary: Set right after the ending of Season 12 Episode 11 (Japril the Movie). What happens right after April reveals her pregnancy to Arizona?


"April."

"According to the test I took this morning, yeah actually," she says softly. "I think I am."

For a moment, Arizona is speechless. And then gradually, questions begin to form in her head.

"When did you find out?"

"Right before I left for the lawyer's office."

"Does... does Jackson know?"

Still looking straight ahead, not meeting Arizona's eyes, she answers, "He would've called it off if I told him, Arizona. He... he wouldn't have pushed through with it if he knew."

Arizona puts a hand on her arm. "Wouldn't that be a good thing?"

April looks at her friend then with eyes that are dull with sadness. "It would. It would be...," she pauses and takes a breath. "I was so close to blurting it out. When they gave me the pen and paper, I was going to say it. I wanted to say it."

Arizona gave her a comforting squeeze. "Why didn't you?" she asks. There is no judgment in her voice, just a question.

"Because doing that would be worse than leaving him to go to Jordan, because I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons, for selfish reasons... because I'd only be telling him to make him stay with me... even if... even if he doesn't want me anymore," she says, her voice flat and her face unreadable.

"Oh, April. What can I do?" Arizona asks, wanting nothing more than to comfort her friend. She'd been there with Callie. She left her, she came back, she wanted to fix them, to mend their relationship, but she got left behind. She knows there's nothing she can do or say that will make it easier for April – that's why she brought a ton of alcohol. She didn't come to make her feel better – she knows April will find no comfort tonight, nor in the days to come. But still, knowing that doesn't stop her from asking.

April doesn't answer right away. She just keeps staring blankly at the space in front of her, her hands on her lap and both her thumbs running circles on her thighs. It only occurs to her then that she's still wearing her wedding ring. Her right hand hovers over it as she debates with herself on whether or not to remove it then and there.

Arizona takes notice. "I took mine off the day after," she tells her gently. "I just needed to sleep with it on one last time."

Hearing her friend's words, she nods her head as she places her right hand down. And they sit in silence.

After a while, she takes Arizona's hand and stands up. She leads her behind the couch where there's more room, and she turns around to face her.

"Dance with me," April tells her. Her voice sounds casual, but her eyes are pleading.

Arizona's brows furrow in confusion. "What?"

"Jackson and I... when we found out we were having Samuel, we danced. We used to dance... a lot," she starts out saying. "And now, we're going to have a baby again, and... and I can't dance with him."

Arizona begins to understand. She looks at her with sad eyes, but only for a split second, before she flashes her best smile. Then she takes April's hand and starts moving her feet and her arms.

"Brace yourself, April Kepner. We're about to have the most epic silent dance party ever," she says cheerfully.

Both women laugh as they take turns twirling each other around. They bust out every dance move they know, from the Macarena to the Thriller to the Twist.

A couple of minutes into their dance party, April starts singing. "I'm having a baby. I'm having a baby."

Not even five seconds later, Arizona joins in. "You're having a baby. You're having a baby."

It takes exactly twelve seconds before April's tears begin to fall. Just one drop at first, it falls quickly and quietly to the floor and disappears immediately under their dancing feet. And then another tear escapes again.

"I'm having a baby."

It's those words that gradually and imperceptibly undo her. The first time she says it, it already doesn't sound right, doesn't feel right. But she pushes it down the same way she's been pushing down the throbbing and searing pain she's been feeling since she said her final words to Jackson just hours ago.

" _Do you really want this?"_

No answer.

"I'm having a baby."

The more she keeps repeating it, the more her chest heaves and her eyes burn. It's like her body is literally having an allergic reaction to the wrongness of those words, because that's what they are – wrong. That isn't how the song's supposed to go, and her body knows it. That's why it's betraying her like this. She tries desperately to fight it off, to tune it out, to push it down.

And then she sees the way Arizona is now looking at her. It's the way someone looks at a homeless person when he really wants to help out but all he has in his pocket is a quarter, and he gives it to him with a smile on his face, hoping that the smile will somehow make up for the pathetic attempt at charity. Arizona's still swinging and swaying albeit a lot slower. And she's still smiling, although it's a smile that's obviously forced, almost to the point of breaking.

But she stops repeating her words.

And then April realizes she's the only one singing now.

It's at that moment, while she's hand in hand with Arizona as they sway side to side, when she allows her tears to fall freely. She lets her shoulders shake as she begins to sob, softly at first before gradually getting more and more uncontrolled.

Both women continue their half-hearted dance while one mourns for the love she has just lost and the other hurts for the friend she's come to love dearly.

It doesn't take long before April's knees give way and she sinks to the floor with Arizona's arms already locked around her, soothing and comforting her.

It's in that spot, the empty space between the couch and the dining table, where the two friends spend most of the night, with April's head on Arizona's shoulder and Arizona's hand on April's back. Neither of them say anything, both of them knowing they don't need to.

After what feels like forever, April's breathing goes back to normal and she straightens herself. She looks at Arizona with red-rimmed eyes that are filled to the brim with a mixture of incurable heartache and immense gratitude. And then she speaks, her voice wavering but whole.

"You're right. That was the best silent dance party ever."

* * *

 **Author's Note: I just created a Tumblr account where I can post all my Japril thoughts. It's also under misspensandscribbles :)**


End file.
